Like plus sized clothes, but for your feet!

I have a confession to make: I have horribly ginormous feet; ginormous! I wear a size 10, and I'm 5'9". Not so lucky for me. I have 2 friends who are 6', and 6'2"; we can share shoes. I was a size 9 in fifth grade, and 5' tall. My mom kept telling me not to worry, that I'd, "grow into them." I'm still waiting.

The kicker is my toes. I have this theory that my foot stopped at size 9, and my toes kept going until 10. My boyfriend likes to call them my monkey toes. When I was in girl scouts, the scary stories around the campfire weren't that bad, but the E.T. impression I did with my "pointer" toe in the tent afterwards was enough to get some screams.

Finding shoes in my size is a ridiculous exercise. It's as though shoe makers think that there couldn't possibly be that many women with Sasquatch size feet, and surely not all of them want fashionable footwear. Wrong, bitches! There is a science to finding the right shoe for a foot like mine. The right combination of covered and open. Pumps with a peep toe are fine. Pumps with an open toe and side cut-out? No good. Strappy sandals with no back? A definite no-no! I can't go wandering around the world with the whole enchilada hanging out scaring people! If I find the right style, more than likely they never did carry it in my size, or it's all sold out because all the other Sasquatch girls have already snatched them up.

That little trend a few seasons back where all the shoes were made to be super pointy? My worst nightmare. Every pair I tried on made me look like the Wicked Witch of the West with huuuuge feet! You know how awesome Chuck Taylors are? Yeah, I can't wear those, they make me look like a clown.

Over the years I've come to accept my foot fate. I've even decorated my foot with a tattoo, but I hope someday Jimmy Choo will design a line of shoes for us Sasquatch girls. Like plus sized clothes, but for your feet!