Shake Things Up

Have you ever felt like you just needed to shake things up? Like you just desperately need some kind of change to occur, and fast? I have that feeling so bad right now. Everything is so stagnant, everything is always the same. I get up, I shower, I go to the soul sucking job where I do the same monotonous tasks over and over, I come home, play with the dog, eat, Boyfriend comes home, we watch some TV, then we go to bed. It starts all over again the next day. Sometimes the order of things after work changes around, but pretty much it's the same routine every day.

Sometimes I wonder if the longing for change is a control thing. I have no control over anything in my job. I go in, and do my rote tasks, and wait for other people to tell me other rote tasks that need to be completed. In a way my ex-husband still controls my finances, since he talked/prodded me into buying a car I can barely afford, therefore I'm usually pretty damn broke. I go home to a wonderful man that I love very much, but who is not my husband, and I long so much for him to be my husband. Another thing that is completely out of my control. I live in a city that I had no intentions of living in for 8 whole freakin years but alas, I am broke, and don't want to leave Boyfriend so moving will only come with a new job for him. For now, none of these circumstances will change.

Now some may say, "Hey! That still sounds like a damn good life" and it is! Don't get me wrong. I am just a person who thrives on change, and new challenges and experiences. There is nothing new. Ever. And so contemplating how to make NEW happen. I guess I'm going to cut and/or color my hair. Superficial, but change nonetheless.

P.S. Any suggestions on the hair?

So Then I Shut my Big Fat Mouth

Anyone who knows me, knows that subtlety has never been my strong suit. I say what I feel often loudly, and with a few four letter words thrown in for effect. I really do love 4 letter words. Well last night was no exception to the subtlety rules, and it did involve a four letter word; LOVE.

Boyfriend and I went out for a very romantic, fancy dinner last night to celebrate 2 years of dating bliss. It was all going so wonderful. Before ordering we talked about all of the things we loved about each other (feel free to throw up in your mouth at any time) and what made our relationship so good. Then Boyfriend made a huge mistake; he bought a bottle of wine. We toasted to 2 years of love and happiness (you puking yet?) ordered our food and enjoyed a lovely evening.

And then I got tipsy.

Marriage has been a hot topic for the last 6 months or so, and when I get some alcohol in me, it never fails to come up. It started out innocently enough, just re-examining if we wanted to elope or have a super small wedding in town. Then I opened my big fat mouth and these exact words came out, "So are you saving up for my ring? Have you already bought it? You know people keep telling me that you probably already have it, but are waiting for me to shut up about getting married. I bet if I went a whole month without talking about it, you might propose. Am I right? Huh?" His response, "Patience is important. Patience gets you good things. That's all you're getting out of me."

So then I shut my big fat mouth, but man! The suspense is killing me! And I bet he's loving every single minute of watching me squirm.